October 25, 2012 by: Matt Dekneef
Axl Rose appeared on Jimmy Kimmel for a rare TV interview, speaking for the first time in approximately 10,000 years because that pact he made with the devil binding him to damnation and silence finally expired last night.
Wearing the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter, Axl fielded Jimmy’s queries in the much hyped about sit down for about 12 minutes and it all went surprisingly smooth.
Here’s what Axl’s been selfishly hiding from us all these years:
1. He’s alive. Breathe easy, sweet children, Jimmy Kimmel late night talk show producers, billion dollar companies advertising on said late night talk show, and investors of that Las Vegas show he was there to promote o’ mine, because the Guns N’ Roses singer actually showed up. And on time. With a beating pulse! Everybody and their stocks win. The ‘80s bad boy has been on some shaky ground throughout the ‘00s, but he’s survived to tell us all about things NOT involving it in the pretty friendly interview last night.
2. He’s the reason Tower Records went out of business, probably. After hitchhiking his way to Hollywood when he was 19, he was a manager of the now defunct Tower Records music chain for a very short period of time, which foreshadowed his future rock ‘n’ rolls ways. “I let everybody have beers after work,” Axl revealed to applause. “I hired people from the old lineup, I hired all my other friends. We had a great time for a while.” Fifteen years later, Tower Records will file for bankruptcy. Blame Axl.
3. He has a Halloween tree. Axl decorates a Halloween tree every year (the source that fuels his life force), calling it “one of the most evil things I’ve ever done,” if by “evil” he means super effing cute!!!
4. He doesn’t regret those cornrows. As he and every dad who had a mid-life crisis circa 2002 shouldn’t.
5. He has no appetite for democracy. The apathetic rocker admitted he doesn’t really vote because living in California, “it usually leans Democratic,” anyway, which is in line with the way he leans already. Also, Slash probably votes, and he clearly has no desire of potentially running into him at a polling place next month or ever.
6. He’s actually kind of boring and normal. No temperamental tantrums. No trash talking. No ignorant slurs against minorities. No bringing used needles of heroin for the studio audience to take home (instead he brought an underwhelming burger truck which are high in calories and like, so bad for you). All this proving that the most shocking thing Axl can do at 50 is not do anything shocking at all.
Wearing the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter, Axl fielded Jimmy’s queries in the much hyped about sit down for about 12 minutes and it all went surprisingly smooth.
Here’s what Axl’s been selfishly hiding from us all these years:
1. He’s alive. Breathe easy, sweet children, Jimmy Kimmel late night talk show producers, billion dollar companies advertising on said late night talk show, and investors of that Las Vegas show he was there to promote o’ mine, because the Guns N’ Roses singer actually showed up. And on time. With a beating pulse! Everybody and their stocks win. The ‘80s bad boy has been on some shaky ground throughout the ‘00s, but he’s survived to tell us all about things NOT involving it in the pretty friendly interview last night.
2. He’s the reason Tower Records went out of business, probably. After hitchhiking his way to Hollywood when he was 19, he was a manager of the now defunct Tower Records music chain for a very short period of time, which foreshadowed his future rock ‘n’ rolls ways. “I let everybody have beers after work,” Axl revealed to applause. “I hired people from the old lineup, I hired all my other friends. We had a great time for a while.” Fifteen years later, Tower Records will file for bankruptcy. Blame Axl.
3. He has a Halloween tree. Axl decorates a Halloween tree every year (the source that fuels his life force), calling it “one of the most evil things I’ve ever done,” if by “evil” he means super effing cute!!!
4. He doesn’t regret those cornrows. As he and every dad who had a mid-life crisis circa 2002 shouldn’t.
5. He has no appetite for democracy. The apathetic rocker admitted he doesn’t really vote because living in California, “it usually leans Democratic,” anyway, which is in line with the way he leans already. Also, Slash probably votes, and he clearly has no desire of potentially running into him at a polling place next month or ever.
6. He’s actually kind of boring and normal. No temperamental tantrums. No trash talking. No ignorant slurs against minorities. No bringing used needles of heroin for the studio audience to take home (instead he brought an underwhelming burger truck which are high in calories and like, so bad for you). All this proving that the most shocking thing Axl can do at 50 is not do anything shocking at all.
