Have you heard the news/heavens opening up this morning? HBO announced it’s added to its spring programming a feature-length documentary all about Beyoncé that is to also be directed by The Beyoncé and I just subscribed to HBO.
The “multi-faceted portrait of the 16-time Grammy Award-winning singer, businesswoman, songwriter, actress, entrepreneur, wife and mother” (the HBO press release somehow forgot to add “HBO’s most fascinating documentary subject ever” and “director of HBO’s most fascinating documentary subject ever” to her glowing achievements) will feature behind-the-scenes and personal footage also shot by Beyoncé herself (“cinematographer” too). If you haven't seen the Beyoncé "4" special on YouTube, watch it now to better acquaint yourself with the must-watch TV qualities at play here.
With any other diva, this whole setup would turn most off because way to further fuel the fire that celebs are obsessed with themselves. Beyoncé doesn’t have that same narcissistic flame a-flicker.
Compared to her contemporaries, Bey’s tight-lipped and private when it comes to anything not her music or career; I mean, she JUST joined Instagram a couple weeks ago and has only tweeted a total of four times since she joined the site this past April. Because Beyoncé is a detail conscious Virgo and the Steven Spielberg of her life, it just makes sense for her to direct this Academy Award nominee for Best Picture come Feburary, obviously. Look, I swear I’m not on Beyoncé’s legal team (hi, dream job), these are just the facts. The hard, sexy, glorious facts of Beyoncé.
The as-of-now Untitled Beyoncé Film, colloquially known in my brain as the Citizen Kane of Beyoncé Films, will air on February 16. This is the same month Bey will also headline the upcoming Super Bowl and consequently make that whole football game thing look like a traditional halftime recess/bathroom break.
Proposal: Let’s entirely rename the month of February “Beyoncé,” as in “November, December, January, Beyoncé, March…” just to be clear what the entire month is devoted to, resulting in a holiday tradition for our future grandchildren.