Bieber, Crown Princess of Follicles, Disses Prince William's Hair

August 6, 2012 By:

Justin Bieber, whose most serious career pursuit thus far has been letting himself get beaten up by Michael Madsen in a music video, is bothered by male pattern baldness.

"I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don't know why he doesn't just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?"

This all could just be Bieber lashing out from his own deep seated fears--after all, his own dad Jeremy has never been seen in public without a hat, presumably because the lack of hair you can sometimes see under his brim means that he's way more bald than Prince William. Or maybe he's just that guy who will one day come to the crashing understanding that beauty and pre-pubescent eunuch voices fade, whereas royalty does not.

Perhaps Justin's not aware that one of the side effects of Propecia is serious, long term impotence that might not be reversible.

Perhaps he's also not aware that whereas he used to look like a helmet wearing muskrat, he now bears specific resemblance to a pompadoured chipmunk. It's mirror time, child.