Behind her “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” demeanor, Cyndi Lauper wasn’t all good vibes and smiles.
For the first time, the ‘80s pop icon is opening up about the dark depression she felt when her singing career hit a pause in the latter part of the decade.
“I had come so far but felt like I had failed,” Cyndi says to RadarOnline.com. “I disappointed the record company because I didn’t come home with an armful of awards like they expected. It was always like that, it was never enough.”
Cyndi, now 59, has retrospect on her side in her upcoming book Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir. She shows her “True Colors,” reflecting on her darkest moments—the split from her long-term partner and manager David Wolff, the decline of her career following a 50 million record selling peak, and her suicidal thoughts in a New York City hotel room.
“It was such a dark time for me. When I was living in that hotel I was two steps off of that balcony. I would go to the studio and then sit in my dark room and drink vodka. I had to spend most of my time alone. I was grieving. I thought the sadness would never go away.
What kept the “Time After Time” songstress from stepping off that ledge?
“The only thing that always prevented me from suicide is that I never wanted a headline to read, ‘Girl who wanted to have fun just didn’t.’”
It’s some pretty heavy stuff from the fun-loving singer gracing those like, totally tubular album covers, but if her book braves to be this honest it’s probably worth the read. Her book is on stands September 18.