Fifty Shades Of Grey Gets a Soundtrack

August 9, 2012 By:

Following in the footsteps of idol Stephenie Meyer in every creepy way, E.L. James, author of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” series, has created a soundtrack to go with the books. EMI Classics is releasing the 15-track album on September 15th (it will be available for digital download on August 21st).

It’s not full of super hip rock bands that scream “I’m clutching my teenage years so hard they’re chafing me,” though—the Fifty Shades album will be all classical music.

The books have already sold over 20 million copies in the U.S. alone, and 40 million worldwide. They’ve brought bondage into fashion on runways and in bedrooms, and sold faster than the Harry Potter books.

To be entirely forthcoming, all of that makes me nauseous, especially because the author admitted to copying the plot of Twilight and to churning out the books on fanfic forums. But if this cultural and intellectual void of a book causes a spike of interest in composers like Pachelbel and Bach, I can take some really, really really tiny comfort in that.

And then I will remember that it took a series about a malleable girl with no personality who allows herself to be abused by a lousy jerk to get people interested in Pachelbel and Bach, and the sadness will come right on back.