Jay Z Signs Grimes in Evil Bid to Take Over the World

December 18, 2013 By:
"Aspiring warrior poet" and Canadian hipster-pop icon Grimes has signed to Jay-Z's Roc Nation management, as announced in the tweet below. 

Grimes, a.k.a. Claire Boucher corroborated the news by throwing up an illuminati hand sign on Tumblr with the caption "I have joined the x men" written underneath. It is yet to be confirmed what her special power will be, but Stereotude's guess is that it will be selling a f*ckload of records next year.

After recanting the misogynistic tones of his earlier works, an enlightened Jay-Z has accrued a near monopoly on hipster girl power recently, with M.IA, Santigold, and Haim all calling Roc Nation home. Those in the know are speculating that Mr. Carter is undertaking a dastardly plan to vacuum up competition for his wife Beyoncé in the wake of her album release. There has been no comment from Grimes' camp on this accusation.
(Via Complex)