Our Highly Intelligent Discussion of the Yeezus Tour

October 28, 2013 By:
Several members of Rev New Media's esteemed family attended Kanye West's Yeezus Tour show at Staples Center in Los Angeles this weekend. Here's the Skype water cooler talk that resulted.
Stereotude: So… How was it?

Madison: Jascmeen was VIP, so...

ST: Whoa, really?

Matt: Vibes. We vibin'.

Madison: It was 100% dope.

ST: Was Jesus there? Jascmeen, did you meet Jesus?!

Jascmeen: Nah, just white Jesus.

Matt: He [Kanye] said, "what up, Yeezus?" Then he took off his mask.

Jascmeen: I wasn't a real VIP. I had a friendly friend in the right place at the right time.

ST: Oh, one of those.

Madison: She was right up there doing shots with Diddy. Like a true boss. Dancing with Jaden Smith.

ST: Was your friendly friend... JESUS?!

Madison: Matt and I were posted up with the gangster high schoolers.

Matt: Fairfax High School alum. Class of 2012.

ST: Nice. So, from our understanding, they sectioned people off based on gold chain count?

Madison: Hahahah. 1 chain, 2 chains…

ST: One chain over there, two chains that way… 5 chains or more... VIP!

Madison: Kendrick Lamar was everything to me.

Jascmeen: Kendrick was a dream boat.

Madison: When he came out on stage, like staggering and sh*t or whatever it was… I was like, "OMG."

ST: "OMG" shock, or "OMG" OMG? 

Madison: "OMG," like what a prince.

ST: Prince. Got it. 

Madison: Lol.

ST:  Did he diss Drake some more?

Madison: Nah, no freestyle. He just did his songs, plus he gave a speech about being humble. It was uplifting.

ST: HAH. What did he say about being humble?

Madison: He's not as braggy as he acts. He's like, I came from nothing, I got out of Compton, everyone is worth something. He was so REAL.

Jascmeen: He's short but gorgeous.

ST: You all bought confederate flags, we're assuming?

Jascmeen: Neverrrrrrrrrr. Not even for Ye. (That's what we call him now.)


On high schoolers smoking each other up…


Jascmeen: Matt isn't telling you about how he pretended he was in high school. Tell 'em, Matt!

Madison: To fit in with all the high school ratchets. That place was OVERRUN with kiddies. The girls behind me were like, "OMG DO YOU HAVE A BLUNT?! DO YOU HAVE ANY WEED AT ALL! I CANT EVEN GET THRU THIS SHOW SOBER! OMG RYAN'S TEXTING ME!"

Matt: Not *in* high school. A recent graduate!


On production value...


ST: Did Kanye have his giant mountain thing?

Jascmeen: Yes! there was also a monster.

Madison: Smoke.

ST: A monster?!

Madison: Jesus. Fireworks. Dancers in nude.

ST: Go back to monster. Wait… nude?

Jascmeen: Hunchback werewolf with red eyes. Yeah, the nude chicks were cool.

Madison: They scrambled on stage like animals.The mountain cracked open.


Jascmeen: We pretty much had Mass and CHUUCH.

ST: Was anyone baptized?

Jascmeen: ME. 


More on the VIP section…


ST: Was Diddy really there?

Jascmeen: Yes. He sat near (redacted) and I.

ST: He didn't do anything weird?

Jascmeen: He adjusted Cassie [Ventura]'s hat several times.

Madison: Did the Jenners dance?

Jascmeen: Yeah, that white girl dance. You know the one.

Madison: Oh lol, like me?

ST: How do you do the "white girl dance"?

Jascmeen: Stand to the side. Fix your hair. You're dancing. Kim danced like that.


Madison: EVERYONE was in Jascmeen's section. You forgot to mention FRANK OCEAN, the only NAME in the mix.



And so ended our intellectual discussion. Back to more important things like Miley tweaking with strippers and over-examining Kim Kardashian's butt shape.