Mariah Carey

At this point, if you haven’t been contacted to join the judging panel of The X Factor there must be seriously wrong with you. If Simon Cowell doesn’t want you on his show you must have like a hideous facial deformity or weird tiny hands, or something.

At first, Simon and show producers were throwing around names like Britney Spears and Mariah Carey to join the judging panel, but apparently they were too expensive or something because they’ve moved on to Bargain Basement talent like LeAnn Rimes and…wait for it, LaToya Jackson. I know, I was like “why not Tito!?”