American Idol premiered last night, and even though we barely had a breather from the last episode of The-X Factor ‘till now, it’s already time for more singing competitions.
The usual suspects (judges) were back. Steven Tyler still looks like your very fashionable grandma. J.Lo looked surprisingly like “Jenny from the block”... were those gold hoop earrings AND a ponytail? And Randy is still Randy, talking about dawwggs and swagging out of control.
The first audition was in Savannah, Georgia and instead of harping on the BAD contestants, because really, making-fun-of-auditions really jumped the shark when William Hung became a “thing,” let’s just focus on the 5 standout performers.
17-year-old David Leathers who looks like an infant but surprisingly has mad game with the ladies had a "young Michael Jackson" tone to his voice and the judges loved him. But his ego and swagger will inevitably get him voted off some time during the semi finals. So he’s basically the Astro of American Idol.
Amy Brunfield is 24 and lives in a tent in the woods which is exactly the kind of weepy backstory that American Idol loves to hear. She sang Alicia Keys “Superwoman” and then Tyler said the “children of the spirit of the woods snuck into you” and the judges voted her thru to Hollywood.
Lauren Mink is a teacher and performed Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Country Strong” from that movie of the same name. Lauren could probably become the next Carrie Underwood, because she’s blonde and sings country. She made it to Hollywood.
Schyler Dixon, 16, and her brother Colton Dixon, 19 both auditioned last year and Colton actually made it to the top 12 or something last year, so now the genius producers over at American Idol decided to draw out a “sibling rivalry” story line, making it look like brother Colton didn’t want to audition and then, due to the judges begging, he finally caved in an auditioned, sending both siblings to Hollywood with sister Schyler looking like she totally got her parade rained on.
Phillip Phillips is totally gonna be the “ladies man” this season. Performing with a guitar and a southern drawl, this guy is the Scotty McCreery if Scotty McCreery didn’t sing like an 80-year-old man and was attractive. Ok so not at all like Scotty McCreery. He only came here because his mother wanted to flirt with Ryan Seacrest. Anyways, Phillip was really good and will probably make it far in the contest.