Paula Abdul Won't Sing Live

Hey Paula! Why won't you sing live at the Super Bowl? She's probably afraid of getting an Ashlee Simpson inspired booing or a nipple slip, or both.

But don't worry fans, your girl will still perform her new single, but it'll be pre-taped. Apparently Paula is way to emotionally fragile. Fragile referring to how many effing crazy pills she intends to swallow that day.