I wanted to see how long I could go without ever having to hear a Selena Gomez song. Today I broke that promise to myself.
Selena just released her new single “Bang Bang Bang.” Everything about that title says that her and Justin Bieber are doing it. Ulch.
The song trash talks an ex boyfriend of Selena and compares him to her new guy. So naturally, we are going to assume she is talking about former fling, Nick Jonas, and her child lover Justin Bieber.
Check out the brilliant lyrics, “My new boy knows the way I want it. He’s got more swagger than you, he’s got more swagger than you do. He’s not hiding me. He’s showing me off you know?”
It’s obvious that this song is about Justin Bieber, because Justin Bieber has more swagger in his little pixie hair cut than P.Diddy and Kanye West combined. If we’re talking obscene amounts of swagger in white males under age 18, J. Biebs always takes the cake.
The line, “he’s not hiding me,” is a pretty slick jab at ex Nick Jonas, who was criticized by ex girlfriends for trying to “hide” all his relationships from the media.
Oh and the part about her new boyfriend, “showing me off.” It’s clear from Selena and Justin’s beach vacation PDA photos that he is definitely showing her off. Actually, could you please stop showing her off Justin? I feel like I’m going to go to jail just by looking at those damn photos.